[We open to see Beavis and Butt-Head walking up to the local bank.]
Butt-Head: Banks are cool.
Beavis: Yeah. That's where they keep all the money.
Butt-Head: "Substantial penalty for early withdrawal!"
[Suddenly, they see a nearby ATM machine has been left unattended and it's alarm is going off.]
Butt-Head: Whoa! Check it out, it's one of those money machines.
Beavis: Hey! Someone left a card! Shove it in, Butt-Head!
Butt-Head: [He laughs.] You shove it in! [He pushes the card into the machine.]
ATM Computer: Thank you. Please enter password.
Butt-Head: Hey, Beavis. How do you spell "chode"?
Beavis: Check this out. [He punches in random letters and numbers, which ironically work, and the machine starts spewing money everywhere.]
Butt-Head: Whoa!! Cool!! [They start grabbing as much money as they can, not knowing that a nearby security camera is recording their every move, even when they run away with the money.]
[Later on, Beavis and Butt-Head are back at their house with piles of cash everywhere.]
Beavis: Hey, Butt-Head. What are we going to do with all this money?
Butt-Head: Uhh, maybe we could, like, spend it, or something.
Beavis: Oh yeah! Uhh, on what?
[Suddenly, dramatic music begins to play on the TV.]
TV Host: Good evening, and welcome to America's Most Hated. What you are about to see is a crime so heinous-
Butt-Head: "Anus"? [He starts laughing.]
TV Host: -so repulsive, so actual, it may shake your very faith in human nature! What we are about to show you is actual footage of two criminals actually robbing one of the ready-tellers.
[Beavis and Butt-Head watch the footage being shown of them taking the money, and they look rather surprised to see this on TV.]
TV Host: A victimless crime? No way!
[The screen changes to Michael Jordan being interviewed.]
Michael Jordan: I stepped away from the Keno table, Bob, then those creeps attacked me. Took my bank card and everything!
Butt-Head: Bust 'em!
Beavis: Yeah! Give those guys the chair! The chair!! The chair!!
Michael Jordan: What I don't get is how they figured out my password: "Balls". How did they know I was a pro?
TV Host: One unidentified witness, a cleaning lady who concealed herself behind a trashbin, told us exactly what she saw.
Witness: One of them was a real ugly fella. He kept scratching his butt! [We then see Butt-Head actually scratching butt as she said this on TV.]
TV Host: Authorities say this tall-tale gesture could lead police officials to the criminal's lair.
Witness: [She pretends to cry.] They should pay for their crimes!
TV Host: Our America's Most Hated crime artists have drawn up sketches of what the criminals look like. If you have any information regarding these career criminals-
Beavis: Hey, Butt-Head! We should, like, call them and say we know those guys!
Butt-Head: Yeah! Maybe there's a reward!
Beavis: That would be cool! [Little do they know that the sketches on screen look exactly like them.]
[Later on, they are watching another news show, An Uncurrent Affair.]
TV Host: Authorities remained baffled in their quest for two career criminals who have gone completely out of sight.
TV Host #2: Tonight, we re-create the events of what happened.
TV Host: What you are about to see is a dramatization featuring professional thespians.
Butt-Head: "Professional lesbians"? [He starts laughing.]
[On the TV, two actors portraying Beavis and Butt-Head are seen in a car.]
Actor #1: Travis, look! Another cash machine ripe for the picking! Huh huh huh! Huh huh! These cash machines are the best to happen to criminals like us! Huh huh huh! Huh huh!
Actor #2: Ha ha ha! Ha ha! I can practically smell the cash! Ha ha ha! [They start breaking into the ATM Machine with tools.]
[All the while, Beavis and Butt-Head are laughing almost exactly the same time the actors do, remaining oblivious that they're being seen on TV.]
TV Host #2: Who are these monsters?
TV Host: Well, it is unknown if they work on a national or international level, we do know that they are wily and considered to be dangerous.
Butt-Head: Hey, Beavis! They should arrest those lesbians.
Beavis: Yeah! Use the tazer! The tazer!! Zap him! Zap him in the butt! [He laughs]
[Later on, they're watching yet another show, this time, Coppers.]
SWAT Team Leader: [As he's suiting up, he narrates over the theme song.] Sometimes, I don't know if I'm ever coming back. ["Bad Boys" begins to play as they leave the police station.]
Announcer: Coppers is filmed on location with the men and women of law enforcement. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.
[Beavis and Butt-Head pay no minds to what is about to happen and continues to watch TV.]
SWAT Team Leader: Ok, now remember to take the big guy out first. He's armed and completely irrational. [Their van comes to a stop] OK, MOVE!!! [All the members of the SWAT Team rush towards a house.]
[Suddenly, the sound of a battering ram hitting the house door is heard.]
Butt-Head: Hey, Beavis. Did you hear something?
Beavis: Uhh, no, I don't think so.
[Seconds later, the SWAT Team breaks in and tackles Beavis and Butt-Head to the ground.]
Butt-Head: Hey! Those two guys don't look anything like those lesbians they were after.
Beavis: Shut up, Butt-Head! They're going to use the tazer! The tazer!! [The SWAT Team begins to arrest Beavis and Butt-Head, both on TV and in their home.]