Tainted Meat

Tainted Meat is the 15th episode in Season 5 of Beavis and Butt-head. It is the 104th episode overall.

Plot[]

The duo are working the late shift at Burger World. And they have a lot of customers but that's not their problem. Beavis says that his wiener (penis) is itchy and a different color. When Butt-Head tells Beavis to make some burgers, Beavis uses the hand he used to scratch his wiener to grab the frozen meat. After the customers start eating their food, they turn green and fall to the floor. Now, back at home, Beavis and Butt-Head are on the couch, watching TV, when a news segment starts talking about Burger World closing, and scientists being unable to find the cause of the tainted meat. A few days later, Beavis and Butt-Head are back in school, and Beavis is still having issues with the itching going on in his pants. Butt-Head tells Beavis that maybe he should wash it. The episode ends with the two back at Burger World. Beavis says his penis feels a lot better, and looks different too. Butt-Head goes on to complain about all the new rules that they have to follow, but can not even read the rules.

Characters[]

Beavis
Butt-Head

Music Videos[]

That Dog - "Old Timer"
Revolting Cocks - "Crackin' Up"
MC 900 Ft. Jesus- "If I Only Had A Brain"

Transcript[]

[We open at Burger World, during the late shift. A woman drives up to the drive thru.]

Woman: I'll have two cheeseburgers, two large fries, and, uhh, a chocolate shake.

Butt-Head: [He's speaking through the speaker.] Uhh, what?

Woman: Two cheeseburgers, two large fries, and a chocolate shake!

Butt-Head: Uhh, just a minute! Dammit, Beavis, put that away! You're not supposed to have your penis out when you're cooking!

Beavis: Oh! Oh yeah.

[Upon hearing that comment, the woman promptly drives away, unknown to Butt-Head.]

Butt-Head: So, uhh, may I take your order?

[Back inside, Beavis is seen scratching his penis rather violently.]

Butt-Head: Uhh, what seems to be the trouble there, Beavis?

Beavis: My thingy itches! It's, like, the wrong color or something. Check it out. [He shows it to Butt-Head.]

Butt-Head: Uhh, no thanks, Beavis! [He walks out of the kitchen to go tend to the customers, while Beavis continues to scratch himself.]

Man: I'll have a double cheeseburger, large order of fries, small root beet, and, uhh, an apple pie.

Butt-Head: Uhh, what?

Man: Double cheeseburger! Large order of fries! Small root beer, and an apple pie!

Butt-Head: Uhh, can you, like, get less stuff?

Man: Just get it!

[Butt-Head then turns to Beavis, who's now scratching himself with the spatula.]

Butt-Head: Hey, Beavis! This guy wants, like, some burgers, and uhh, like, some food or something.

Beavis: So?!

Butt-Head: So, like, make it!

Beavis: Oh, okay! Dammit! [He finally stops scratching himself, but by doing so, he has contaminated his hands. He then starts handling the hamburger patties, not knowing he's just contaminated all the food.]

[Meanwhile, the entire restaurant has been oblivious to what Beavis has done, including the man at the counter.]

Butt-Head: [He is now ringing up the man's total, or at least attempting to.] Uhh, it's like, uhh, a dollar or something. [The man hands him a dollar, only to have him shove it in his pocket.] Uhh, I mean, uhh, two dollars. [The man hands him another dollar, which he also pockets.] Cool!

[Suddenly, a scream is heard as a woman collapses on the ground from food poisoning. Soon after, the other customers are also falling victim.]

Butt-Head: [He hands the man his food.] Here you go, sir! Enjoy your meal.

Beavis: Yeah, come again! [He continues to scratch himself as the restaurant falls into total chaos.]

[Later, after they come home, the incident has now made it to the local news.]

Newscaster: A local Burger World serving tainted meat has hospitalized 15 and raises the question about how meat should be handled.

Butt-Head: [He laughs and points at Beavis.] Ask the expert!

Beavis: SHUT UP!! [He continues to scratch himself.]

Doctor: [He speaks over the telephone on screen.] Uhh, we have never encountered a strain of bacteria like this in recorded science. I'm afraid we're up against a fierce new parasite.

Newscaster: Authorities are saying that, until further notice, Burger World will remain closed.

Beavis: This sucks!

Butt-Head: Yeah, we lost our jobs!

Beavis: No! My weiner still itches!! [Butt-Head just laughs at him about that.] SHUT UP!!! What should I do?!

Butt-Head: Uhh, I know. Like, think of something else.

Beavis: Umm, ok. [He stops for about five seconds, then continues to scratch himself.]

[The next day at school, we find the duo in Mr. Van Driessen's class taking an exam.]

Mr. Van Driessen: Ok, people, you have ten minutes to answer questions 3 through 12, okay? And, go! [Upon those words, Beavis begins scratching himself again...]

[And then, again during lunch, and then again during the class photo...]

Photographer: Ok, now! Just hold it. Hold it right there!

[Beavis continues to scratch himself, which ends up being seen in the photo. And even as they walk home from school, he's still scratching!]

Butt-Head: Face it, Beavis. You have a problem with your penis.

Beavis: What should I do?! This sucks!

Butt-Head: Maybe you should, like, wash it or something.

Beavis: Umm, ok. I could, like, uhh... I'll, like, uhh... Yeah, I'll, umm, wait, with water?! No way! It'll get wet!

Butt-Head: Life is hard, Beavis.

Beavis: Yeah, and it sucks! [He continues to scratch, and follows Butt-Head home.]

[The following night, Burger World has re-opened, and the duo is back at work.]

Beavis: Hey, Butt-Head! My weiner feels great! It's, like, the right color again, check it out!

Butt-Head: Beavis, you butt-munch! I don't want to see that!

Beavis: [He's now picking his nose.] Yeah, and we got our jobs back.

Butt-Head: Yeah, but now, we have to, like, follow all these stupid rules.

[They look at a sign that says "NOTICE: ALL EMPLOYEES MUST WASH THEIR HANDS BEFORE RETURNING TO WORK."]

Butt-Head: [He tries to read it, but can't seem to comprehend it.] Uhh... No - Tice. All... Em, uh?

Beavis: I think that's a "P", Butt-Head.

Butt-Head: Uhh, Pull... Must... Uhh, wash?

Beavis: That's hard!

Butt-Head: I told you!

Trivia[]

In the scene where Beavis and Butt-Head where watching TV in there Burger World uniforms, if you look at Butt-Head's hat, the W disappears after the doctor is done talking.
On the Collection, the scene where the TV shows the doctor who can't identify the tainted meat is cut, but it's an Easter Egg on the second DVD.
This was the last episode to air in 1994.