[We open at Burger World, during the late shift. A woman drives up to the drive thru.]
Woman: I'll have two cheeseburgers, two large fries, and, uhh, a chocolate shake.
Butt-Head: [He's speaking through the speaker.] Uhh, what?
Woman: Two cheeseburgers, two large fries, and a chocolate shake!
Butt-Head: Uhh, just a minute! Dammit, Beavis, put that away! You're not supposed to have your penis out when you're cooking!
Beavis: Oh! Oh yeah.
[Upon hearing that comment, the woman promptly drives away, unknown to Butt-Head.]
Butt-Head: So, uhh, may I take your order?
[Back inside, Beavis is seen scratching his penis rather violently.]
Butt-Head: Uhh, what seems to be the trouble there, Beavis?
Beavis: My thingy itches! It's, like, the wrong color or something. Check it out. [He shows it to Butt-Head.]
Butt-Head: Uhh, no thanks, Beavis! [He walks out of the kitchen to go tend to the customers, while Beavis continues to scratch himself.]
Man: I'll have a double cheeseburger, large order of fries, small root beet, and, uhh, an apple pie.
Butt-Head: Uhh, what?
Man: Double cheeseburger! Large order of fries! Small root beer, and an apple pie!
Butt-Head: Uhh, can you, like, get less stuff?
Man: Just get it!
[Butt-Head then turns to Beavis, who's now scratching himself with the spatula.]
Butt-Head: Hey, Beavis! This guy wants, like, some burgers, and uhh, like, some food or something.
Butt-Head: So, like, make it!
Beavis: Oh, okay! Dammit! [He finally stops scratching himself, but by doing so, he has contaminated his hands. He then starts handling the hamburger patties, not knowing he's just contaminated all the food.]
[Meanwhile, the entire restaurant has been oblivious to what Beavis has done, including the man at the counter.]
Butt-Head: [He is now ringing up the man's total, or at least attempting to.] Uhh, it's like, uhh, a dollar or something. [The man hands him a dollar, only to have him shove it in his pocket.] Uhh, I mean, uhh, two dollars. [The man hands him another dollar, which he also pockets.] Cool!
[Suddenly, a scream is heard as a woman collapses on the ground from food poisoning. Soon after, the other customers are also falling victim.]
Butt-Head: [He hands the man his food.] Here you go, sir! Enjoy your meal.
Beavis: Yeah, come again! [He continues to scratch himself as the restaurant falls into total chaos.]
[Later, after they come home, the incident has now made it to the local news.]
Newscaster: A local Burger World serving tainted meat has hospitalized 15 and raises the question about how meat should be handled.
Butt-Head: [He laughs and points at Beavis.] Ask the expert!
Beavis: SHUT UP!! [He continues to scratch himself.]
Doctor: [He speaks over the telephone on screen.] Uhh, we have never encountered a strain of bacteria like this in recorded science. I'm afraid we're up against a fierce new parasite.
Newscaster: Authorities are saying that, until further notice, Burger World will remain closed.
Beavis: This sucks!
Butt-Head: Yeah, we lost our jobs!
Beavis: No! My weiner still itches!! [Butt-Head just laughs at him about that.] SHUT UP!!! What should I do?!
Butt-Head: Uhh, I know. Like, think of something else.
Beavis: Umm, ok. [He stops for about five seconds, then continues to scratch himself.]
[The next day at school, we find the duo in Mr. Van Driessen's class taking an exam.]
Mr. Van Driessen: Ok, people, you have ten minutes to answer questions 3 through 12, okay? And, go! [Upon those words, Beavis begins scratching himself again...]
[And then, again during lunch, and then again during the class photo...]
Photographer: Ok, now! Just hold it. Hold it right there!
[Beavis continues to scratch himself, which ends up being seen in the photo. And even as they walk home from school, he's still scratching!]
Butt-Head: Face it, Beavis. You have a problem with your penis.
Beavis: What should I do?! This sucks!
Butt-Head: Maybe you should, like, wash it or something.
Beavis: Umm, ok. I could, like, uhh... I'll, like, uhh... Yeah, I'll, umm, wait, with water?! No way! It'll get wet!
Butt-Head: Life is hard, Beavis.
Beavis: Yeah, and it sucks! [He continues to scratch, and follows Butt-Head home.]
[The following night, Burger World has re-opened, and the duo is back at work.]
Beavis: Hey, Butt-Head! My weiner feels great! It's, like, the right color again, check it out!
Butt-Head: Beavis, you butt-munch! I don't want to see that!
Beavis: [He's now picking his nose.] Yeah, and we got our jobs back.
Butt-Head: Yeah, but now, we have to, like, follow all these stupid rules.
[They look at a sign that says "NOTICE: ALL EMPLOYEES MUST WASH THEIR HANDS BEFORE RETURNING TO WORK."]
Butt-Head: [He tries to read it, but can't seem to comprehend it.] Uhh... No - Tice. All... Em, uh?
Beavis: I think that's a "P", Butt-Head.
Butt-Head: Uhh, Pull... Must... Uhh, wash?
Beavis: That's hard!
Butt-Head: I told you!