[We open with the boys walking home from the Maxi-Mart with nachos in hand.]
Beavis: Nachos rule! They rule!
[Unknown to the boys, they walk right into the path of a dog who just broke free from its chain. The dog starts barking at them very aggressively, causing them to drop their nachos.]
Butt-Head: Whoa! Check it out!
Beavis: Heh! Stupid dog!
[The dog starts barking more, foaming at the mouth, and gets ready to lunge at them to attack.]
Butt-Head: Uh, I heard that if you, like, don't act scared, they won't attack you.
Beavis: How do you do that?
[Beavis then turns away for a second, and the dog then bites Beavis' leg and throws him to the ground, violently attacking him while Butt-Head watches and laughs.]
[The next day at Highland High School, students gather around Beavis to look at his injury, which has become an open wound.]
Butt-Head: Uh, you wanna touch his bone?
Beavis: Yeah, touch it! [One of the students does, causing Beavis to scream in agony.]
Student: Cool! Does he foam at the mouth?
Butt-Head: Check this out. [He puts two alka-seltzers into Beavis' mouth, then touches his wound, causing Beavis to scream louder and spit foam everywhere.]
Student #2: Decent! Is it contagious?
Butt-Head: No, I disaffected it. [He pours a sports drink onto Beavis' wound, causing Beavis to scream again.] Sports drinks have nutrients.
Coach Buzzcut: [Enters the classroom, armed with a police baton] LISTEN UP, MORONS! Some short-sided federal appeals judge says I can't use this on you. But remember this: in this classroom, I AM THE JUDGE, THE JURY, AND THE JAILER!
Butt-Head: Does it hurt when I do this? [He puts the sharp end of a protractor into Beavis' wound, causing him to scream yet again.] That was cool!
Coach Buzzcut: [Notices Beavis' injury from afar] Do you gentlemen have a problem? Do you wish to enlighten the class AS TO WHAT IS FESTERING ON YOUR LEG, BEAVIS?!
Beavis: Dog bite.
Coach Buzzcut: Hmm... I thought you looked rabid, boy! Now listen close! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY CLASSROOM BEFORE YOU INFECT SOMEONE ELSE WITH YOUR SICKNESS, YOU STINK OF DEATH! BUTT-HEAD! THIS MAN REQUIRES IMMEDIATE MEDICAL ATTENTION!
Coach Buzzcut: HOSPITAL, BUTT-HEAD!!! ON THE DOUBLE!!!
Butt-Head: YES!!! [He and Beavis begin head-banging, assuming they can cut school because of this.]
[Later, the boys arrive at the hospital's emergency room.]
Receptionist: Hi, can I help you?
Butt-Head: Uhh, he's got rabies.
Receptionist: I see... What's your name?
Butt-Head: Last name is Munch, first name is Rodney.
Beavis: Yeah, Rod Munch! [He and Butt-Head start laughing at the name they came up with.] "Rod Munch"!
[Soon after, they're in the doctor's office, where they're messing around with the model skeleton. Eventually, the doctor enters the office.]
Doctor: So, which one of you is Rod Munch?
Butt-Head: [Points to Beavis] Uhh, he is. He's "Rod".
Doctor: So, Rod, I understand you were bit by a dog. Well, don't be scared, cause look, a dog bit my thumb off once too, Rod. [He does the old "thumb removal" trick.]
Butt-Head: You're stupid!
Doctor: Now, Rod, I don't suppose you brought the animal with you?
Butt-Head: He wasn't very friendly.
Beavis: Yeah, he doesn't like me.
Doctor: Well, we'll have to find him anyway. In a suspected case of rabies, the animal has to be destroyed, of course. And to check for presence of the disease, we cut off the head and dissect the brain.
Butt-Head: Whoa! That's cool!
Doctor: Actually, yes! It is kinda cool.
Beavis: Yeah! Come on, Butt-Head! Let's go find that dog!
Doctor: Not so fast, Rod. Let's talk about your symptoms, first. Any dizzyness, fever, or any convulsions?
Beavis: Umm, yes. No more than usual, though.
Doctor: Hmmm, so far, nothing checks out. Maybe you were lucky?
Butt-Head: You mean, like, no decrapitation?
Beavis: [He sneaks another alka-seltzer in his mouth to make foam erupt from his mouth.] I GOT IT! I GOT RABIES!! [He starts freaking out, spitting foam everywhere.]
Doctor: Ok. I'll call the police about the dog, but first, we better start treatment. [He goes to put on surgical gloves.]
Butt-Head: Does he have to get a shot?
Butt-Head: ...you have to get EIGHTEEN of them, Rod.
Doctor: IN THE STOMACH. [He pulls a rather large syringe and walks over to Beavis, making him lay down on the bed.]
Beavis: [He starts to back away from the doctor.] This sucks! [He screams as the doctor gets closer with the syringe.]
[We then cut to the boys back at the house some time later watching TV. We see Beavis is heavily bandaged around his abdomen.]
Narrator: The good news about rabies is that treating it no longer means a series of painful injections into the solarplexus. New vaccines require only five simple shots in the arm.
Butt-Head: Hey, Beavis. How come that stupid doctor didn't know that?
Beavis: Maybe he doesn't watch TV.
[Meanwhile, back at the hospital, the doctor's caught on to Beavis' so-called "rabies scare" and laughs.]
Doctor: "Rod Munch", huh? [He laughs maniacally...]