[We open with Beavis and Butt-Head watching TV. Suddenly, the door bell rings.]
Butt-Head: Get the door, Beavis.
[Beavis gets up and goes to open the door, where the mailman is waiting.]
Mailman: Um, here is a new phonebook, dude. [Beavis takes the phonebook and shuts the door on him.]
Beavis: Yeah. [He shuts the door and walks over to Butt-Head.] Hey, Butt-Head, check it out. New phonebook.
Butt-Head: Cool. Let's, like, call someone.
Beavis: Yeah.
[They begin flipping random pages, looking for a name.]
Butt-Head: Uh, "Taylor, Bob". No. Uh, "Ma-Matthews, Al".
Beavis: No. Come on, Butt-Head.
Butt-Head: Uh. "Sachz, Sachz". "Harry". Harry Sachz.
Beavis: Yeah. Harry SACHZ!
Butt-Head: This is gonna be cool.
[We then cut to Beavis and Butt-Head in the bathroom, holding the phone over their toilet.]
Beavis: Yeah! Harry Sachz! [Butt-Head dials the number. We then find Harry, a middle-aged biker who's sitting on his recliner watching TV. His phone rings, then he answers the phone.]
Harry: Hello. [Beavis and Butt-Head quickly flush toliet. Harry hangs up, realizing it was a prank call.]
Butt-Head: That was cool!
Beavis: Yeah! Let's call him back!
Butt-Head: Uh, okay. This time, let's say something. [Butt-Head dials Harry's phone number again.]
Harry: [His phone rings, and he answers again.] Uh, hello?
Beavis: Um. U-um... You suck! [Butt-Head flushes the toilet again. Harry looks rather annoyed with that and hangs up again.]
Butt-Head: That was pretty funny, Beavis!
Beavis: Yeah, thanks.
[TWO WEEKS LATER...]
Harry: [The phone rings again, and this time, Harry snatches the phone up.] Hello?! [Beavis and Butt-Head flush the toilet yet again. Harry starts growling angrily and slams the phone down in fury.]
[ONE MONTH LATER...]
Harry: [The phone rings again, but this time, he's bought a Caller ID machine to screen who's calling him. Harry answers the phone.] Yeah? [The sound of Butt-Head relieving himself is heard, along with Beavis flushing the toilet YET AGAIN!]
Beavis: It's Harry Sachz!
Harry: You!! [He crushes the beer in his hand and slams the phone down in a violent rage. He then looks on the Caller ID, showing Beavis and Butt-Head's phone number. He begins to laugh, knowing they just sealed their fate.] Now, somebody gonna die! [Harry dials the number to call Beavis and Butt-Head, then pulls out a pencil and paper to write their address.]
Butt-Head: [He hears the phone ring and answers it.] Uh, hello?
Harry: Hey, congratulations! You just won yourself a free pizza.
Butt-Head: Cool!
Harry: We'll be happy to deliver right over your house. What's your address?
Butt-Head: Uh...
Harry: You don't know your own address?
Butt-Head: Uh....
Harry: Uh, tell your what. Do have with the mail around? Read me the address off of that.
Butt-Head: [He turns to Beavis.] Hey, is there any like, mail around here?
Beavis: Um. Uh, let's see. Just that stuff we took out of Stewart's mailbox. [He pulls out a pile of envelopes they stole from Stewart's house and hands them to Butt-Head.]
Butt-Head: Uh, okay.
Harry: Good. Now, what does it say? [Begins to write down what Butt-Head's reading off to him.]
Butt-Head: Uh... Stewart Stevenson. Uh, 67 Maple Street. Now hurry up get that pizza over here. I'm hungry.
[Harry hangs up and he gets ready to go find them, snapping his pencil in half out of sheer rage.]
[We then cut to Stewart's house, where Stewart's playing a video game peacefully.]
Mrs. Stevenson: Care for some cookies Stewart?
Stewart: All right, thanks Mom!
[Suddenly, Harry kicks the front door open. Stewart and his mom scream in horror.]
Harry: [He grabs Stewart by his arm.] You little worm! Was it you? Was it?!
Stewart: I didn't do anything! [Harry pulls his arm back, ready to punch him.]
Mr. Stevenson: [Walks out of the kitchen, with a phone in his hand.] Damn it! What's all the noise in here? I'm on the phone... [Stops to see Harry turn his attention to him now.] Oh, my god!
Harry: [He throws Stewart to the ground, and points at him now.] It was YOU, wasn't it?! I'LL KILL YOU!!
Mr. Stevenson: [He tries to dial 911 at this point.] Damn it! Operator! No! [Harry tackles him to the ground, then drags him towards the bathroom.] Ow! Hey, this is between you and Stewart! Get him! [Harry kicks the bathroom door open, while he screams in sheer terror.] Please! [Harry shoves Mr. Stevenson's head in the toilet and flushes it.]
Harry: You like the way that sounds, funny man?! Huh?!
Mr. Stevenson: [He pushes himself out of the toilet.] No! It must be Stewart! Ow!
Harry: Listen very carefully, funny man! If you ever, EVER call me again, I swear, I'll find you, wherever you are, and I'll GUT YOU!! But just to make sure you don't call me, I'm gonna stick your phone where you'll have an awful hard time dialing it! [He grabs the phone, then pulls down Mr. Stevenson's pants.]
Mr. Stevenson: No! Please! No! [Harry rams the phone up his ass as he screams in agony.]
[Later, several police cruisers and an ambulance has arrived, and Mr. Stevenson's rushed to the hospital.]
Mr. Stevenson: [He's being wheeled into the ambulance on a stretcher, the phone still lodged in his anus.] Hey! Ow! Take it easy, be careful. [He groans in pain.]
[Meanwhile, Beavis and Butt-Head are standing outside, waiting for the "pizza".]
Butt-Head: Damn it! I'm hungry! Where the hell's my pizza?
Beavis: Whoa! Hey, Butt-Head, looks like someone going on Stewart's house.
Butt-Head: Oh, yeah? Let's call him. [He goes in inside to call, not knowing the phone is up Mr. Stevenson's ass.]
Mr. Stevenson: [The phone begins ringing in his ass.] Ow! Ahhh! Could somebody get that?! That might be the office!
[Butt-Head continues to wait for someone to answer, and Beavis watches the ambulance leave, with the sound of Mr. Stevenson's screams heard in the distance.]
Butt-Head: Uh, nobody's home. [He hangs up the phone.]
Beavis: Hey, Butt-Head. Let's call that Harry Sachz dude again.
Butt-Head: Yeah. Harry Sachz. [Beavis and Butt-Head go into the bathroom to call Harry again.]
Harry: Hello?
[They flush the toilet YET AGAIN!]