[We open with Beavis and Butt-Head watching the news, featuring a story about sexual assault at house parties.]
Newscaster #1: One unidentified official said, quote: "These parties were known for their wild and rowdy behavior. And any women in attendance should've expected that the men would tear their clothes off and cop a feel." (He and the newscaster next to him laugh at that comment.) Ok, Bob?
Newscaster #2: Kinda makes me wish I had joined the military.
Butt-Head: Hey, Beavis! We should throw a party!
Beavis: Yeah! YEAH!! We could have, like, cake and stuff! And, like, uhh-
Butt-Head: No, dumbass! I mean, like, a party with chicks. And, you know... "Cop a feel"?
Beavis: That's a great idea, Butt-Head! Where do you get these ideas?
Butt-Head: They come from my weiner.
Beavis: (He laughs at that remark, knowing what that means.) Oh yeah!
Butt-Head: We're gonna score!
[We then cut to the following with the duo at school, most notably, Mr. Van Driessen's class.]
Mr. Van Driessen: Today, I want to rap a little bit about sexism. I wonder if anyone can give me an example of sexism. Does anyone have anything they'd like to share?
Butt-Head: Uhh, yeah! (He and Beavis stand up.) We're gonna have a party!
Beavis: Yeah! It's gonna rock!
Butt-Head: Yeah, and we especially want chicks to come, so we can like, uhh... (He and Beavis start giggling.) Uhh, you know...
Beavis: Yeah... with chicks!
Mr. Van Driessen: Good job, guys! That's exactly what I'm talking about. Anyone else?
Butt-Head: This party's gonna kick ass!
[Later, we find the duo at the Maxi-Mart trying to purchase food for their party. They are seen standing at the counter in front of the Maxi-Mart Owner.]
Butt-Head: Uhh, we're gonna have a party.
Beavis: Yeah. I'm gonna score!
Maxi-Mart Owner: So?
Butt-Head: How much party stuff can we buy with this much money? (Butt-Head drops a few pennies, a quarter, among other things on the counter, including a condom wrapper.)
Maxi-Mart Owner: None. But I'll, uhh, give you some used forks from our toppings bar.
Maxi-Mart Owner: And I got some day old donuts. (He gathers up dirty forks and the donuts, dusts off the cigarette butts and garbage off of them and hands them over to the boys.)
Beavis: Donuts rule!
Butt-Head: This party's gonna rock!
[The boys then leave, while the Maxi-Mart Owner takes their pocket change. Outside, they're seen eating the donuts.]
Butt-Head: We need one more thing, dude. We need some "hard stuff".
Beavis: (He begins to giggle.) I got some hard stuff!
Butt-Head: Not THAT, dumbass! I'm talking about booze! You know, liquor?
Beavis: Oh yeah. Let's ask that dude out back!
[They then go behind the Maxi-Mart to find a homeless man, drunk out of his mind, and holding a warm bottle of gin.]
Butt-Head: Uhh, can we have some of that?
Homeless Man: (He turns to them) Do you have, urp- ...Any kind of smokises?
Beavis: Uhh, no. We got some donuts!
Homeless Man: (He holds up the bottle to them) Half of what's in here is for your donuts! (He laughs at them, as he chugs a huge portion of the bottle. He then hands it to them.)
Butt-Head: Cool! The hard stuff rules!
Beavis: We're gonna score!
[Later, at their "party", the duo is seen watching tv, with Beavis still holding the bottle of warm gin.]
Beavis: Hey, Butt-Head. Can I sit this down? My hand's getting tired.
Butt-Head: No way, Beavis! When the chicks walk in, they have to see it in your hand, so they know you're cool!
[Just then, their door bell buzzes.]
Beavis: It's them! IT'S THE CHICKS!! IT'S THE CHICKS!! (He and Butt-Head run to the door to answer it.) Hey, Butt-Head. Should I pretend like I'm drinking it?
[They open the door discover it's not the chicks they were hoping for, but instead...]
Stewart: Hi, guys!
Butt-Head: Uhh, what the hell are you doing here?!
Stewart: Time to party down, dudes! I'm psyched! Hope you don't mind, I brought some buds from the youth group. (Suddenly, two more of Stewart's "buds" come in.)
Stewart's Bud #1: Wow, you were right, Stewart! This party kicks rear!
Stewart's Bud #2: You guys'll have to come to our Loaves and Fishes cookout next week! Deal?
Butt-Head: Uhh, no.
Beavis: Yeah! I'll pinch a loaf for you, though!
[As their "party" goes on, Beavis and Butt-Head are looking rather disappointed at how it's turned out, thanks to Stewart's arrival.]
Stewart: Ok. Maybe MacGyver could beat Michael in a fight. But it doesn't matter, because NOBODY is smarter than a computerized car!
Stewart's Bud #1: It DOES SO matter! Because without Michael, K.I.T.T.'s just a normal car!
Stewart: Oh yeah, right! A normal TALKING car? Right!
[Suddenly, the sound of the door getting kicked in is heard. Beavis and Butt-Head are shocked and surprised to discover who's arrived...]
Butt-Head: WHOA!! IT'S TODD!!
Beavis: YEAH YEAH!! YEAH, TODD!! HE'S REALLY HERE!! HE'S REALLY HERE!! (He then holds up the bottle of gin.] How's it going?! Hey, man!
Todd: (He walks in with his own "bud", looking ready to kick Beavis and Butt-Head's asses.) This "party" looks more like the day-care center for little baby girls!
Beavis: (He stands up, showing the bottle.) Hey, man, want some hard stuff?
Todd: (He's quick to snatch it from Beavis.) GIVE ME THAT!! (He drinks it, and angrily throws it on the ground.) THIS CRAP IS WARM!!! GET SOME COLD STUFF!!!
Todd: (He walks behind their couch, ready to kick their asses for wasting his time.) I'll tell you what, ladies. If you leave right now, I'll let you go without kicking your asses!
Butt-Head: (He gets grabbed by his shirt by Todd.) Uhh, what??
Todd: We've got some women coming over. YOUR PARTY'S OVER, MAN!
Butt-Head: Uhhh... Ok!
Stewart: It's cool, dudes. (He and his friends decide to leave.) At my house, I got a great new D&D video game! (They all cheer as they leave the house.)
[Later on, Beavis and Butt-Head return to find their house has been completely trashed by Todd and his gang. They also discover several pairs of women's panties strung around the house too.]
Butt-Head: Whoa! Todd is cool!
Beavis: Yeah! He broke everything! That must've been a cool party!
Butt-Head: Yeah. Maybe next time, he'll let us stay.
Todd: (He pulls up to their window in his car.) HEY!! HEY GIRLS!
Butt-Head: Uhh, Todd!
Beavis: Hey, man!
Butt-Head: So, like, did you have a good time at our party?
Todd: I just want to let you know that, uhh, you guys owe me fifty bucks for expenses. I will be by later to pick it up! (He then peels his car out in their yard, throwing mud at their window, and in their faces. He then drives away.)
Butt-Head: WHOA! He must've had a really good time!
Beavis: Yeah! We'll have to throw another party!
Butt-Head: Yeah. It's a good thing we had plenty of hard stuff.
Beavis: We just need to make sure it's cold next time.
Butt-Head: Yeah. (He and Beavis then leave to continue marveling at the destruction Todd left behind.)