Beavis and Butt-Head

Movie Announcer Voice: When it comes to psycho killers, a little med-school is a terrible thing.

Arnold Schwarzenegger: Give me your pancreas.

(*A man screams after Arnold grabs a man's pancreas.*)

Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'll be back for your spleen.

Movie Announcer Voice: Arnold Schwarzenegger is The Intern starts Friday.

Butt-Head: Whoa! That looks cool.

Beavis: Yeah! (*laughs*)

Butt-Head: We could go if we had some money.

(*The light bulbs appear in their thought bubbles, and then they laugh as the scene cuts to Beavis and Butt-Head walking outside from their house to the bloodmobile.*)

Beavis: Don't wanna fall in the mud.

Butt-Head: All I wanna do is sell my blood.

Beavis: What do you think they paid for like a gallon of blood?

Butt-Head: Just be cool, dude, don't take their first offer.

Beavis: How do they like, get it out, dude?

Butt-Head: They give you a big knife, then you cut your hand and like, bleed into a bucket (*laughs*)

Beavis: (*laughs*) That's cool.

Butt-Head: They give you a big old bottle of Mad Dog 2020 to drink first.

Beavis: High test.

Butt-Head: And then when you're done, don't forget to stand up really fast.

Beavis: (*giggles*)

Butt-Head: If you're lucky, you'll pass out.

Beavis: Cool!

(*The boys see the bloodmobile*)

Butt-Head: Whoa, we're gonna be rich.

(*Beavis and Butt-Head laugh and do air guitar.*)

(*They walk into the bloodmobile.*)

(*They laugh while they see the blood in the blood bags and other objects.*)

(*The nurse walks to the boys.*)

Nurse: Help you, boys?

Butt-Head: We got blood.

Nurse: And a good thing too, hah!

Beavis: Wanna buy some?

Nurse: Now let me see, you see there one of you boys 18 or older?

Butt-Head: Uh, no.

Nurse: Okay, have you been screened in the last 12 months for diseases of the circulatory system?

Beavis: No. (*laughs*)

Nurse: Okay, either you boys on any kind of medication?

(*Beavis and Butt-Head laugh.*)

Nurse: Good enough. Beggars can't be choosers, that's what I say. Roll up your sleeves and sit down, boys.

Beavis: Hey, what about the Mad Dog?

Butt-Head: Yeah, don't we get anything first?

Nurse: (echoing) Yup, the enduring thanks of the community.

(*The nurse places the blood bag stands and puts the syringes attached to the blood bag stands on Beavis and Butt-Head's arms while they scream and metal music plays.*)

Nurse: Okay now, soon as baggies are filled up, you'll be on your-

(*The ringing telephone interrupts the nurse.*)

Nurse: Ah, shoot, I'll be back with you boys in a minute.

(*She walks up to the telephone and answers it.*)

(*Beavis and Butt-Head laugh while the syringes suck their bloods into the blood bag stand.*)

Nurse: (angry) Blood Drive? Tyler, where are you calling from?! You can't just... Course, I sound mad! I bury your three children seeing through detox for cats and you vanish for 15 years and after all the time you call me at work. How bad do you think I missed you? Well guess again! You're the saddest excuse for a-

(*The syringes keep sucking their blood into the blood bag stands.*)

Nurse: (surprised) Oh my gosh, I gotta go! Come over around 9:00, Tyler and wear that mesh undershirt.

(*The nurse hangs up the telephone while Beavis and Butt-Head laugh.*)

Nurse: Well, boys, I'm awful sorry I feel like the house with the tub running. Now let's see, it appears you fellas are getting up a little more in your bargain for I pay you what.

(*The nurse gives Beavis and Butt-Head Fig Newtons.*)

Nurse: Here's a Fig Newton for each of you, now why don't you all just forget about your blood donation for today since you're looking a little picky. Once all you two going home and come back when you're feeling a little better. Thank you, boys.

(*The nurse slams the door and then Beavis and Butt-Head start to laugh holding bags full of their bloods and the blood bags fall while they feel bloodless.*)

(*They watch a movie trailer on TV while the blood in syringes from blood bag stands come back into their bodies.*)

(*The women laugh while metal music plays.*)

Movie Announcer Voice 1: Mephisto's house of hot tubs is a great place for a soak,

(*The women continue to laugh.*)

Movie Announcer Voice 1: A choke,

(*A serial killer chokes a woman with brunette hair while she screams.*)

Movie Announcer Voice 1: Or a poke.

(*A serial killer stabs a woman with blonde hair with a knife.*)

Movie Announcer Voice 1: Bloodbath. You may not get clean, but you'll never have to wash again.

Movie Announcer Voice 2: Starts Friday at a bad neighborhood theater near you.

Butt-Head: (*laughs*) Bloodbath...That sounds cool.

(*Butt-Head breaks his blood bag all over Beavis, and then metal music plays.*)

Beavis: (*laughs*) Cool!