[We open to Coach Buzzcut and another man standing in front of the health class.]
Coach Buzzcut: Alright, listen up! Part of physical education is learning what makes your body break down. What we're talking about today, class, is alcohol. It's my hope that when you meet our guest today, his disgusting, repulsive physical condition will be enough to convince you to stay sober! Here he is. Now, take a good look at him.
Butt-Head: Whoa! He looks cool!
Dennis: Hello, kids. My name is Dennis, and I'm an alcoholic.
Dennis: Five years ago, I had my own business, I was making really good money, I had a family, a nice house, but I lost it all because of my drinking. Now, I spend all my time at Rolling Hills. It's a clinic for people, like me, who have a problem with alcohol.
Butt-Head: That's cool! Hey, Beavis. We should go there.
Beavis: Yeah! Maybe they'll give us some beer!
[Later, we find the duo at Rolling Hills Rehabilitation Clinic.]
Receptionist: Hi, can I help you?
Butt-Head: Uhh, we need beer.
Beavis: Yeah, we heard you could help us out.
Receptionist: I see. Do you have an appointment with us?
Butt-Head: Uhh, no?
Receptionist: I'll put you in Dr. Steve's group. Why don't you follow me.
Butt-Head: This is gonna be cool.
[Soon, they're lead into a meeting room with other alcoholics, including Dennis.]
Dr. Steve: Hi, guys! Welcome, have a seat!
Beavis: Hey, how's it going?
Butt-Head: Uhh, hey. So, uhh, what are you drinking?
Dr. Steve: Well, it looks like our family has two new members. What are your names?
Butt-Head: Uhh, I'm Butt-Head, and this is, uhh, Beavis. We're alcoholics.
Beavis: Yeah. Where's the keg?
Dr. Steve: Welcome, Butt-Head. Welcome, Beavis. I'm Dr. Steve. The other members of our group were just telling us a bit about why they're here.
Joe: Hi, my name is Joe, and I'm an alcoholic. And, uhh, last week, I spent my whole paycheck on booze.
Beavis: Yeeeaaah!! Alright!
Butt-Head: Do you have any left?
Dr. Steve: Beavis? Butt-Head? Why don't you tell us a bit about why you're here.
Butt-Head: Uhh, well, we saw this commercial, and there was, like, this guy, and he had, you know, a beer. And then, there were all these chicks. It was cool!
Beavis: Yeah, it's like, we need beer, and we don't want to wait until we're 21!
Joe: Yeah, I started early myself.
Member #3: Yeah, man, I heard that. For me, it was always like "beer and chicks", "beer and chicks", man. And, you know, and it was crazy!
Butt-Head: You guys rule!
Beavis: Yeah! "Beer and chicks!" Yeah, exactly!
[Later on that day, the meeting continues, but Beavis and Butt-Head have become disappointed to learn they haven't got a single beer out of it.]
Dr. Steve: Ok, group. We're going to continue sharing our experiences with each other. Who wants to go first?
Dennis: I think I've finally clean myself up!
Member #3: Wow, that's great, man. That's really great. But, you know, just take it one day at a time.
Dr. Steve: Butt-Head, did you have something to say?
Butt-Head: Yeah, I just want to know if we're ever gonna get some beer!
Joe: Hey, man. I know what it's like. I once went two years without a drink!
Beavis: Yeah, well I've NEVER had a drink! You guys were supposed to get us some beer!
Butt-Head: Yeah. Why don't you just stop all this whining crap and break out a couple of cold ones?
Member #3: Mmm, cold ones!
Dennis: That... does sound pretty good.
Dr. Steve: Guys, we've all been through a lot.
Butt-Head: Yeah, let's go! There's a bar right down the street. Come on! What's one beer going to do?
Beavis: Yeah, we'll just have one, then we'll come right back.
Dr. Steve: Guys! Let's try to remember why we're here, huh? Come on!
Joe: You know, I bet I could drink just one, and then stop.
Beavis: Yeah, a couple tall, frosty, cold ones! Pure and cool as a mountain stream!
Joe: Uhh, you know, guys, I can't take it. I need a drink.
Beavis: Come on!
Dennis: Yeah! Let's drink!
[Soon enough, the entire group gets up and starts to leave, with Dr. Steve begging them to stay. Later on, the group is now partying at the bar, while Beavis and Butt-Head fail at getting served.]
Bartender: Look, I told you kids! You got no ID, you look underage, and if I served you, I go to jail!
Butt-Head: Uhh, then how about one for the road?
Beavis: Yeah, you know, one to help me, uhh, forget, or something?
Bartender: GET OUT OF HERE! BOTH OF YOU!!
Joe: OH YEAH!! Uhhh, it's ok, bartender! Uhh, these are good kids, you know! Uhh, y-you know, you boys remind me of me when I was a kid!
Butt-Head: Yeah. Someday, we're going to be like you.
Beavis: Yeah! We're gonna be drunk!
Joe: That's my boys! WHOOOOOOOOO!!!
[Joe collapses on the floor as the party continues, with Beavis and Butt-Head laughing in the background.]