[We open at Highland High School, where Mr. Van Driesssen's class is preparing to go on a field trip.]
Mr. Van Driessen: [He is seen doing a roll call as the students get on the bus.] Morgendorffer. Sunchef. Zunker.
Bus Driver: Is that it?
Mr. Van Driessen: Well, it should be, but I don't see Beavis and Butt-Head. They usually don't miss field trips.
[Back in the classroom, Beavis and Butt-Head are sitting alone, wondering where everyone is.]
Butt-Head: Uhh, something's wrong.
Beavis: Yeah, really. Maybe we're late or something.
Butt-Head: Uhh, maybe.
Beavis: So, like, uhh, what do we do now?
Butt-Head: Uhh... [He starts to laugh as he comes up with an idea.] Let's write "Big Butt" on the chalkboard!
[Beavis and Butt-Head then get up to go erase the chalkboard, not realizing the board states "FIELD TRIP TODAY. BUSES LOAD AT 10 AM."]
Butt-Head: Wait a minute, Beavis. I think it's trying to tell us something. [He starts to read what the board says.] Uhh... "Feel"... "Tit"? Uhh... "Tripe"... Uhh, "Todd"?
[Only moments later, they finally realize what it means, and come racing out of the school.]
Butt-Head: HEY, STOP THE BUS!!!
Beavis: HEY, DON'T LEAVE, DAMMIT!!! WAIT FOR US!!!
Butt-Head: That was close!
Beavis: [He gets in Mr. Van Driessen's face.] Next time, tell us, butthole!
[Once they get on the bus, the bus then leaves the school.]
Mr. Van Driessen: Ok, people. I hope we're ready for our hike down beautiful Mount Peligro.
Butt-Head: [He laughs at what he just said.] "Mount".
Mr. Van Driessen: Now, class, even though there is an abundance of breath-taking rock formations and fascinating plant life, I have to warn you that this hike will be quite a workout, okay?
Butt-Head: I got a "rock formation" in my pants!
Beavis: [He laughs at that comment.] Yeah!
Mr. Van Driessen: [He now pulls out his guitar.] Now, to pass the time, I thought we might enjoy some music, okay? Any requests?
Dean Zunker: Like, 99 Bottles of Beer?
Mr. Van Driessen: Good, Dean! But beer and driving don't mix, okay? How about 99 Bottles of Tea on the Wall. Let's try sort of a different arrangement, okay? [He begins to play, but stops because of the sound of horns blaring.] What's going on? Why's everybody honking?
Mr. Van Driessen: [He spots Beavis and Butt-Head mooning the drivers behind the bus.] Hey! Hey, Beavis and Butt-Head, NO! Come on!
Mr. Van Driessen: I'm sorry, but obviously, you boys can't be trusted to be by yourselves in the back. I want you to come up here right now and switch seats with me, okay?
Butt-Head: Uhh, we'll be better.
Beavis: Yeah! We'll give them a "Pressed Fruitbowl"!
Mr. Van Driessen: I mean it, boys! Come on, get up here right now. [He sees them come up with the pants still down by their ankles, and sighs with disgust.] And please pull your pants up, okay?
Butt-Head: Uhh, oh yeah! [He and Beavis do as their told, then sit down.]
Mr. Van Driessen: Now, I hope you boys understand why I'm making you sit up here. There are rules on the bus, and they're for your own good. Now, try to behave. I'm going to go sit in the back, okay?
Butt-Head: Rules suck!
Bus Driver: [Swerves out of the way of a speeding driver who cuts him off.] STAY IN YOUR LANE, YOU SON OF A BITCH!! THIS ISN'T THE INDY, YOU MORON!!
Butt-Head: That dude's pissed!
Beavis: Yeah, really! How come he gets to, like, flip off cars and stuff, but then, it's like, when we do it, we have to come sit up here?!
Butt-Head: Uhh, I think it's like, if you're in front of that line, then you get to do all that stuff.
Beavis: Whoa, really? You mean, we can, like, scream at people and give them the finger?! Let's go!
[They then get up and towards the front of the bus.]
Butt-Head: [He walks up to the bus driver.] Uhh, hey, dude!
Bus Driver: HEY!! SIT THE HELL DOWN!!
Beavis: GET OUT OF THE WAY, YOU SON OF A BITCH, OR WE'LL KICK YOUR ASS, BASTARD!! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!!
Mr. Van Driessen: [He sighs, seeming rather annoyed with the duo.] What's got into those two now? [He goes to intervene.]
Beavis: GET OUT OF THE WAY, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!
Bus Driver: SIT DOWN, OR I'M STOPPING THIS BUS!!
Butt-Head: [He looks at Mr. Van Driessen.] Yeah! That means you too!
Mr. Van Driessen: Alright, that's it, Butt-Head. Sit down. You too, Beavis, come on.
Beavis: NO WAY! I'M IN FRONT OF THE WHITE LINE, DAMMIT! NOW SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP, YOU SON OF A BITCH! [He then gets thrown into his seat by the bus driver.]
Mr. Van Driessen: Ok, people. It's obvious we're all a little over-excited. I think I'll cool things down with a little song I wrote. It's called "Touch a Mountain", okay?
AChildren of the earth, rejoice.
Each new day, we have a choice, so
Touch a mountain.
Climb a mountain.
Feel a mountain.
Bus Driver: Aww, dammit! I missed the turn! [He slams on the breaks, not realizing that he just launched Mr. Van Driessen out through the windshield, who then falls down the side of the cliff, screaming.]
Butt-Head: WHOA!! THAT WAS COOL!!
[Later, a rescue team is seen attempting to retrieve Mr. Van Driessen, along with the Highland police.]
Butt-Head: This was a pretty cool field trip!
Beavis: Yeah! It's like, I really learned something.
[Soon after, a rescue helicopter pulls Mr. Van Driessen up on a stretcher, which then lowers him towards an ambulance.]
Dean Zunker: Mr. Van Driessen! Is that you?! Are you ok?!
Police Officer: Don't look, son! He may be dead...
[However, as they lower his stretcher towards the ground, he swings into the side of the ambulance, then hits the windshield of the police cruiser, screaming in agony as he does. Meanwhile, Beavis and Butt-Head just laugh at his misery.]